No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
