Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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