I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
