Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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