god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
