your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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