We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
