So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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