Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This baby is an asshole
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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