dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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