just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
