So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
