So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
