Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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