Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
