Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
