what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
the gays at disneyland are vicious
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
