Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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