i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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