u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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