What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
