We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
