Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
