sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
