i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
