AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
