OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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