Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
