it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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