I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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