you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
