There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
