During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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