I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
