Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
