YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
