tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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