There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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