i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
