The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
