We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
