I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Drunk is not a location!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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