I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
