some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize
