I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
