don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
40s are totally the cure
You are the jesus of drinking
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
