i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
