u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
