i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
They have beer where we have blood.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
