oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
