Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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