I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
