I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
