i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
