you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
