yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
3pm strippers are depressing
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
