She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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