i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
