How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
