thus making me awesome and them whores
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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