I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
