He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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