I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
