hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
