Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
did i walk over a car last night?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
