I'm eating all of the evidence.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
