seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
